


Cookies & Cakes(Or A Scaring Dream?)

by Greybin (TyunnieBFF)



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Adorable, Adorable Choi Soobin, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Bad Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Choi Soobin-Centric, Coma, Cute, Cuties, Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gentle Kissing, Heavy Angst, Hurt Choi Soobin, Kang Taehyun-Centric, Kissing, Loss, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Neck Kissing, Pining, Pining Kang Taehyun, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Sad, Sad Choi Soobin, Sad Ending, Sad Kang Taehyun, Soft Kang Taehyun, Surprise Kissing, Sweet, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, Trauma, Whipped Choi Soobin, Whipped Kang Taehyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23685082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyunnieBFF/pseuds/Greybin
Summary: *READ THE TAGS/READ AT YOUR OWN RISK*Soobin baking with Taehyun on a normal day off, maybe letting his feelings show as well...But....why does something feels wrong...?
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 17
Kudos: 71





	Cookies & Cakes(Or A Scaring Dream?)

**Author's Note:**

> Please please PLEASE READ THE TAGS

"Bye bye~ we'll be back later!" Beomgyu cheerfully exclaims, Yeonjun rolling his eyes fondly before slapping a hat on the younger's head. Hueningkai waves them off, yawning sleepily as he does which earn a small chuckle from the eldest.

"Go back to sleep Hyuka," Yeonjun tells him.   
“That's the plan, hyung, you go and have fun with Beommie hyung." 

Soobin comes in to hand the two boys black face masks, Taehyun watching wordlessly with one Hueningkai draped across his lap, unable to move with the bigger boy's mass on him. 

It's a Sunday, and Sundays are off days; Yeonjun and Beomgyu had planned to go to a VR arcade, leaving Soobin to babysit the maknaes, not that he minds.

“Hyungie~ Get him off of me!" Taehyun squeaks. 

Soobin laughs lightly, going to pick up the already asleep boy and place him in his respective bed. Soobin then goes to see Taehyun busy scrolling on his phone on the couch, most likely on Weverse as usual. Soobin himself has something he wants to do in mind, he thought of baking some treats today for them.

"Hyunnie, I'll be baking in the kitchen if you need anything"

At the mention of the activity, the orange-haired boy looks up to him with interest, his round doe eyes spiked with childlike wonder. Soobin can't help but coo at the cute sight of Taehyun perching his hand on the side of the couch like a cat struck with curiosity.

"Baking? Like cookies and cake?" There's excitement in his voice, something Soobin adored about Taehyun, his eagerness and innocence of wanting to know new things.

It was nice like this; TXT's Taehyun was much too filtered, a mask the boy has yet to learn how to shed in front of cameras. In the eyes of the world, Taehyun is a charming idol who is known for his calm and composed self, the brains of the group for his obvious maturity and witty mind despite his maknae position. 

But here behind the walls of their dorm, Kang Taehyun is a total cutie, he loves to be cuddled and has a knack for pulling pranks with Hueningkai. He is playful like a puppy and often steals Hyuka’s plushie to nap with, not that Hyuka cares. 

Taehyun would puppy eyes his way into getting what he wants, and Soobin nor the others could complain because this true self of Taehyun is only seen by them. And they love him for it.

"Yes Hyunnie, wanna help me?" if Taehyun has cat ears, they certainly would have perked up excitedly at the invitation. 

But Taehyun pouts instead, "But I don't know how to bake" he whines and slumps down on the couch. Soobin laughs at the dramatic gesture and goes to pull Taehyun up to his feet by his arm. The tangerine-haired boy naturally links his arms with Soobin and lets his leader drag him to the kitchen. 

"Don't be silly, of course you can! I'll teach you" Taehyun hums along, making one of his cute noises when Soobin lets go of him and shoos him away to get the ingredients.

"How about the vanilla essence! Do we need that?!" he shouts from across the room.  
Soobin sighs, "Yes Hyunnie, we need it. I can hear you perfectly fine STOP SCREAMING!" 

"But you are screaming too!" 

"For the love of god-"

They manage to fit everything on the countertops, Soobin scrolling through his notes on his phone while Taehyun goes to inspect each ingredient.

"Okay, you can try and make this" he shows Taehyun a recipe, his body bending down a bit. Taehyun nods and clasps his hands together, "Chocolate chip cookies? sounds simple enough." 

"I'm making chocolate cupcakes," Soobin informs him, reaching to grab two aprons, "C'mere you." He helps slide on the apron and ties a secure ribbon around Taehyun's tiny waist. Taehyun is wearing an oversized shirt (Soobin noticed it was his) but the apron hugged his waist perfectly, the little kitty cartoon on the front saying 'I'm a good kitty!' suits him too. 

He pulls on his own apron but startles upon feeling smaller hands taking the strings away from his own. "Let me help you, hyung" a soothing voice said, Soobin blushing shyly, thankful that Taehyun can't see his red face at the moment.

"There…all set!"

Soobin blushes even more when Taehyun does a little spin and strikes a pose before bursting into a fit of giggles. "No, no wait- do that again I wanna take a picture!" Soobin exclaims, picking up his phone. 

"What? No, hyung! it's embarrassing" Taehyun cries out and hugs himself as he cringes at the idea.   
"Come on Hyunnie! It was so cute~" Soobin coaxes.

"Fine! I'll do it… if you do it too."

"Deal."

Taehyun screams in tiny and strikes a pose, making kitten paws while winking at Soobin's phone camera. If only he knows how much it made the leader's heart race, Soobin squeals and claps his hands, Taehyun ducking behind a counter to hide himself. 

"AHH so ADORABLE!!" immediately making it his new wallpaper. 

"Your turn!"

Soobin stares at the younger, jaw slacked. 

Right, the deal. 

Taehyun holds up his phone excitedly as Soobin gets ready to pose. Soobin screams as well before deciding to just go with a classic flying kiss. Taehyun smiles, satisfied. "Wah, cute!! Hyung you are so cute!" 

Soobin rolls his eyes at that, “Nope, you can be the cute one between the two of us” and pats Taehyun’s head while the smaller male pouts.

“Okay, Tyun. Enough aegyo-ing around, time to bake!” 

It was going well at first, Soobin had done a bit of baking here and there so he was more familiar with the baking tools and such. The leader was currently whisking the wet ingredients together with an electric hand mixer. He had his eyes on his phone, scanning through the recipe again to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. 

But Soobin’s first mistake is letting Taehyun work on his own, and his second is not checking up on the younger as he worked.

The leader nearly jumps when a tiny scream erupts from behind him he finds Taehyun with his face partly covered in flour, holding a half-empty bag of flour sheepishly. “Taehyunnie! What happened?!” his eyes find the white mess on the countertop, sighing heavily. 

Taehyun purses his lips in guilt, “I underestimated how much I should've tilted the flour bag…” he explains, “Hyungie, are you mad?” Soobin is quick to cup his face. 

“Baby no, I’m not mad okay? Of course you didn’t do it on purpose, I should’ve kept an eye on you, too. Don’t be sad Tyunnie, hyung isn’t mad at you” he leans down and nuzzles their noses together, satisfied when he hears a bright chirp from Taehyun.  
  
“Okay, hyung” and true to his words, Soobin makes sure the other ingredients make it into the bowl without any more problems.

Now he turns his attention back to his task at hand, he has to whisk the dry ingredients this time; he grabs his flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt, and- hold up, where is the baking powder? Soobin moves around the ingredients, scanning for the container filled with white powder. 

“Taehyunnie… did you take the baking powder?” 

He has lifted several cups and bowls but there is still no sight of the ingredient, “Hmm? I don’t know, what does it look like?” Taehyun asks, leaning over to Soobin’s side. 

“It’s like- white powder in a little cylinder container”   
Taehyun throws him a look, the one that says he’s questioning Soobin’s mind, “Hyung, there’s a lot of containers with white powders here.” 

“Well this one has _‘Baking powder’_ written on it-” he starts, but the taller male sees something in the corner of his eye. Why was Taehyun keeping one hand behind his back? 

“Hyung?” Soobin side-eyed the younger, now that confused face did not look too real. 

“Hyun… what’s behind you back?” Taehyun pouts, pulling his hand out to reveal his empty palm.

“Wow, hyung. You thought I took it? I see how it is...” he crosses his arms and goes back to his mixing bowl, a whining Soobin trailing after him. 

Soobin drapes himself onto Taehyun, hugging the 2nd maknae while muttering an apology for his accusation. Taehyun’s hands wobble at the contact, his heartbeat speeding up. 

“Hyunnnieeee, hyung is sorrryyy~” 

Taehyun likes when Soobin acts like this, unconsciously being cute just because he thought he had made Taehyun upset. His hyung really is a clingy bunny. 

But the leader is startled when the sound of their door slamming open echoes all the way to their kitchen, he quickly parts from Taehyun out of reflex “You’re back already?” Soobin asks the two boys who are yawning as they pass by the kitchen.

“Yup, that was so much fun _*yawns*_ but we’re super tired hyung...wake us up when food is ready” Beomgyu mumbles, rubbing his eyes drowsily and dragging Yeonjun to the bedrooms. 

Soobin stares at them dumbfoundedly, he shook his head while smiling softly “Aigoo, these kids…” Taehyun hums along, “Can I put salt in their cookies?”

“No?!”

Soobin continues his hunt for the needed baking powder, it is frustrating him out, “Hyung you’re so silly” Taehyun exclaims out of the blue, Soobin maneuvers to face him and watches as Taehyun leans and stand on tiptoes to reach the back of Soobin’s neck. 

And with a smirk, he pulls out a small cylinder container he has been looking for in the past 15 minutes. 

“Taehyun!! You did take it!” Soobin cries out, hands on his hips with his lips thinned out. He wasn’t prepared for Taehyun to lean in and swiftly peck the edge of his lips, “Sorry, but you’re just so cute hyung” he winks and excuses himself to go back to his own work, leaving Soobin in a blushing mess.

Kang Taehyun is going to be the end of him

Soobin finishes up his batter and slides his first batch of cupcakes into the oven, he looks towards Taehyun and nearly loses it, the boy is struggling to knead the still not thoroughly mixed batter, biting on his lips hard and gripping onto that spatula so tightly it might just break. 

He remembered Taehyun making him so flustered minutes ago and decided a little revenge wouldn’t be too bad. 

So he goes up behind the boy and leans down, he slips his hands under Taehyun’s armpits and places his hands over Taehyun’s. He smirks when he hears the boy’s breath hitched at the sudden closeness, their bodies practically glued together. 

“Do it like this Tyunnie~” he began to guide Taehyun’s hand in the proper way to mix the batter into a dough while resting his chin on Taehyun’s shoulder. 

Soobin could feel the tip of his own ears burning for doing such a cheesy thing but it was worth it, besides, Taehyun seems to like it too and he wasn't as subtle as he thinks he is about it. 

"Hyung~ Hyungie~" he singsongs with his lips pouted  
  
"Yes~? What is it Taehyunnie?" Taehyun's fingers graze his cheek, leaving behind a sticky smudge of cookie dough. 

Soobin yelps and jumps back in surprise, shaking his head at the action although Taehyun is too busy giggling into his hand to notice it. "Taehyun ah!"

Soobin smiles, it was what charmed him the most when it comes to his Taehyunnie, this playful fun boy who is too adorable for his own good.

By the end of things, they had three trays of star shaped cookies ready to slide into the oven and two messy boys covered in baking ingredients. 

Soonbin grabs a wet cloth and calls Taehyun over, the younger male is washing the many bowls they used but complies to the leader without missing a beat. Taehyun holds his breath when Soobin leans down to dap away the smudges and flour off his face with utmost care. 

The leader works tenderly, treating Taehyun like he is fine china and that makes the smaller boy blushes like crazy. Soobin can't help but smirk when he sees how flustered the boy becomes, their faces only inches apart. He is leaning unnecessarily close but Taehyun isn't pushing him away, and he takes that as a green light.

In fact, Taehyun looks quite upset when he pulls away once he is sure the boy's face is all clean and pats away the excess flour in his hair.

"You missed a spot hyung" he complains with his arms crossed which confused Soobin, he scans Taehyun's face again and mentally slaps himself each time he gets distracted by Taehyun's ethereal beauty.

"Huh? I don't-" Soobin feels his breath is knocked out of his lungs when a pair of lips brush the edge of his own, it was fast and almost teasingly. Taehyun smiles innocently at him while Soobin breathes out nervously from the sudden action. 

"There, now it's your turn"

But Taehyun doesn't want to keep standing on his tiptoes so he climbs and sits on the countertop while Soobin hovers in front of him, he has both arms on the surface of the kitchen counter, keeping Taehyun in between him as the boy wipes off whatever mess that is on Soobin's face. 

"Okay! All done" he chirps with a satisfied grin, Soobin laughs at the cuteness of it. 'Ah screw it' He thinks and leans forward to connect their lips. 

Taehyun is taken back by the bold move but makes no further action to push away his leader, instead his hands snake around Soobin's neck, pulling Soobin closer to deepen the kiss.

There are so many thoughts and emotions clouding his mind, kissing Taehyun is such a bliss. His lips are soft and tastes like chocolate which is probably from him snacking on the chocolate chips just now, they did not break eye contact even with their lips locked and that deep loving stare Taehyun is giving him is sending shudders down his spine in a good way.

They pull away from each other with a gasp, breath slightly ragged while panting for air. Taehyun looks at him with a strange tint of….concern? 

His hands now rest on each side of Soobin's shoulders while Soobin's own hands have found their way to holding Taehyun by his waist. "Hyung I-" but Soobin silences him with a finger on his lips. 

"Shh...one more time?"

Soobin is intoxicated by the kiss, god knows how long he had wanted to do that, to hold Taehyun the way he did as if the younger was his. His suppressed feelings for the younger that only blossomed and bloomed for years finally crashing down on him when he was allowed this one chance to be drunk in the feeling of Taehyun's lips against his.

Taehyun bit his lips unsurely but let his hyung do as he pleases, "Hyung…" he whines when Soobin goes from kissing his lips swollen to pecking him all over his face, a firm yet tender hand holding Taehyun's head steady as he littered the younger boy with love. 

"Do you know…" he kisses Taehyun's forehead, the bridge of his nose "...how much…" his cheeks, the edge of Taehyun's jawline.

"...hyung is _in love_ with you?"

Taehyun gasps at that for two reasons, one being the abrupt confession while the other is Soobin slightly bending his head back to give him easier access to his neck, the taller boy joyfully trail butterfly kisses down Taehyun's neck enjoying the way Taehyun is gasping at the intimate action.

The 18 year old's face is red with blush, this is by far the last thing he thought Soobin would ever do but here he is being pampered with all of Soobin's love and attention that gets him all tingly and such. 

"..Hyung...S-Soobin hyung…" he really shouldn't enable the leader but having those plump lips all over him feels good, after years of hopelessly pining, it really had to come to this for him to realize his feelings are returned.

"Hmm~ What is it Hyunnie~?" 

"Your cupcakes are done"

Soobin jumps to his feet and rushes to the oven, Taehyun breathes out in relief because he is so sure he is going to pass out if that goes on any longer. His heart hammering against his chest at the indicator of the older's feelings for him yet with devastation when he remembers their situation. 

_'This is literally the worst timing ever…..'_ he says to himself with a sigh and frown.

"Taehyun ah! Come on, put your cookies in and help me frost the cupcakes" Soobin calls out to him, his face red with the epiphany of what he just did. Taehyun laughs lightly with a tinge of bittersweetness. 

"Coming hyung!"

Like before, Soobin guides Taehyun as he frost the cupcakes, Taehyun's delicate hands in his own hand feel amazing. Yes Soobin is whipped, more whipped than whipped cream and he owns it.

They decorate the cookies as well, with both of them pecking each other with kisses as they work, mostly Soobin though. 

Once done, the two flop themselves on the couch, laughing lightheartedly for no reason. Taehyun is laying on Soobin, their hands intertwined together and Taehyun has his head resting on Soobin's chest while the elder's other hand tangles itself in Taehyun's fluffy hair. 

It was comforting in a way, just being in each other's embrace the way they are. 

"Shouldn't we call them?" Taehyun asks, the sweet treats are already set out on the dining table. "Nah, they'll automatically come when they're hungry….plus, I really don't wanna move" he yawns, baking treats sure got him tired. 

"Hey hyung…." Taehyun starts with a whisper, voice suddenly small.

"I'm sorry, just…..don't blame yourself for what happened…" he trails, he hoists himself to face Soobin, using his free hand to trace Soobin's face.

Taehyun is smiling, but it looks far from happy, it is laced with sadness, deep regretful sadness. "When you go back to them, tell them I miss them and I love them so much…" 

"Hyunnie….what are you talking about?" Soobin asks with a yawn, head too tired to thoroughly process Taehyun's words.

"I did what I could…to give you this...temporary happiness....but I think...I might have hurt you more by doing this…." those pretty lips to wobble, his fingers trembling while his eyes begin to glass with tears. 

And Soobin wants to reach out, wants to hold him close and kiss away those tears because sadness doesn't look good on Taehyun. But his body won't cooperate, too exhausted and he is hit with a wave of drowsiness. 

"I'm sorry it turned out this way….I'm sorry but...please….just don't ever blame yourself for this"

His tears drip onto Soobin's cheeks, Taehyun leans down to plant one more kiss on Soobin's lips. When he pulls away, he sees Soobin barely able to keep his eyes peeled open, the younger smiles brightly for Soobin's sake and rubs away his tears.

At the very least, the boy should let his smiling face be Soobin's last memory of him.

"I love you too hyung, always have and always will…I hope...you will at least….keep me in your memories…."

Soobin blink his eyes, it's getting harder to stay awake and his head stings. He wants to say something, to ask Taehyun what the hell is he talking about but images suddenly flash in his head.

_Flames were everywhere, Soobin yanked Beomgyu and Yeonjun by their arms and dragged them with him, they raced down the burning hot hallways that were licked with flames. It happened too fast, too sudden. What should've been another day of practice turns into a nightmare._

_The smoke had started to take up whatever space they had, the boys kept themselves down low, moving as fast as they could but Beomgyu's sudden screech caused them to pause. "WHAT ABOUT TAEHYUN?!? HE'S IN THE UPPER FLOORS!!" Beomgyu yelled in the midst of running._

"Huh..Oh goodness! Doc!! come quick!! come quick!!"

_Soobin curses, the boy had a recording session upstairs and the floors are already blooming woth ember "Fuck, you guys go. I'm going to get him!" but Yeonjun grabbed his shoulder, eyes glaring at him "You crazy bastard?! You can't go up there!!"_

_But Soobin shoved Yeonjun away and sprinted for the stairs, hands over his mouth and nose. "TAEHYUN?!?! TAEHYUN WHERE ARE YOU?!?!" his voice rung throughout the heat and flames._

"He's showing signs of waking up!"

_He jumped and maneuvered himself around the hot chaos, his skin burning the longer he was in there but his mind could only think of their second maknae. "TAEHYUN AH?!? WHERE ARE YOU TAEHYUN?!?!" he keeps himself low, coughing as smoke seeped into his lungs._

"Soobin..? Soobin shii can you hear me?"

_"HYUNG!!! SOOBIN HYUNG!!! HYUNG I'M OVER HERE! HELP ME!!" He makes a run for that direction, one of the recording studios. Taehyun is banging on the door of the booth, his face coated with fear and terror. A body laid motionlessly by the operator panel._

_"I CAN'T GET OUT HYUNG!! HELP ME!!"_

_Soobin gasps, the fire is burning through fast "STAND BACK!!" he smashed the door down with a strong kick and pulled Taehyun out, hugging him close as Taehyun broke down crying, the smaller boy trembled in fear._

_"HYUNG!!"_

"Soobin shii….are you there?...can you hear us..?"

_"Come on Hyun, come on let's move!" Soobin clutched onto Taehyun by his shoulder and rushed out, the younger followed him as they race against the fire, they were almost down the lobby, rounding the last flight of stairs when-_

_"HYUNG WATCH OUT!!"_

_Soobin was shoved forward, he was sent crashing into a wall, his head banged hard. The leader coughs harshly while trying to peel his eyes open, they blink with exhaustion from the pain and heat. His vision blurred and shaken._

"Hyung...hyung please come back to us…"

_He sees a body, underneath burning rubbles, motionless as a pool of blood formed, a fluff of brown hair and an arm sticking out. His heart seemed to stop beating and the consciousness slipped away slowly as he felt himself being lifted and moved._

"Soobinnie….please wake up….please..."

_All the while Taehyun's lifeless eyes stared at him_

"Soobin hyung, don't leave us….we can't lose you too"

Soobin blinks, eyes slowly fluttering open to brightness. Everything is so white and he feels so suffocated with contraptions over his face and machines poked around his body. "Soobin?! Soobinnie!!" that voice, that's Yeonjun….

"Hyung! hyung!! can you hear us?" that one he recognised as Hyuka's, "I don't think he can see us.." was that….Beomgyu? Soobin blinks a few more times, he couldn't feel his anything and the out of body feeling is starting to stress him out.

"Calm down Soobin shii….please..just calm down" and that is a voice he didn't recognize.

The thing covering his mouth is carefully removed by someone, he breathes out, trying to let his eyes focus. He makes out shapes of figures standing around and various shapes of machinery, they blur but slowly clear up. "W...wha…" he wishes to speak but feels too weak to even do that.

Once his eyesight is restored, he is met with three teary eyed boys. Yeonjun has a bandage around his head while Beomgyu is clinging to a support stick. Hueningkai looks perfectly fine other than the healed burn marks on his arms which at least is good to know he wasn't hurt badly. 

"G….guys?" they immediately swarm him, albeit carefully to not hurt him.

"HYUNG!!!"   
"Oh MY GOD SOOBIN THANK GOD!!"  
"SOOBIN HYUNG!!"

But it didn't feel right, Soobin although with his mind dazed with anesthesia, pain killers and other drugs they could've pumped into him still feels and sees the incompleteness, the hollow space of someone that isn't here.

Even in this disorientated state with his emotions all over the place and a burning pain in his head, his absence did not go unnoticed by the leader.

"T..Tae...Ta..hyun?" It is eerie how silent it became when the name is mentioned, as if it was a cursed word. He sees Hueningkai biting his lips to keep himself from sobbing, Beomgyu burying his face into Soobin's shirt that soon dampened. 

_"..Tae...hyun…" his hands reached out to the unmoving body, eyes closing and opening in a messy rhythm. But only those dead orbs look right back at him._

Yeonjun clasp his hand around Soobin's bandaged ones with an IV drip of some sort attached, droplets of tears dripping "Soobin ah…...he didn't make it.."

**_"Please….just don't ever blame yourself for this"_ **

How can he not?  
_

Soobin breathes in the air, it is getting chilly in Seoul and from the top condominium floor, the air is a tad colder. "Hyung ah! Manager says we're leaving in an hour" He hears Beomgyu calling him, "Yeah I know" he assures the younger. 

"Wah we are finally gonna perform again...this feels surreal…" He hears Hyuka saying out loud from somewhere inside, the leader smiles and exits the balcony. He makes his way to the dining table where the other three boys are eating up their early dinner. 

He sat down and ruffle Hueningkai's hair. "Can you believe it hyung?...we're stepping on stage again.."

He laughs lightly at Beomgyu's enthusiasm, happy that after all the grief, he still is the bright boy he was before. Yeonjun looks at him with concern "Soobin? Will you be alright?" and he can't help but answer the first thing that pops into his head.

"Hardly, one day I will….just...not now...but don't worry, I know what I have to do" the table silenced and Hueningkai goes over to hugs the leader.

_"It's been 11 months since the fire accident at BigHit's building, a huge tragedy which was the result of a sabotage as police investigations revealed. A lot of staff were severely injured and there were up to 10 death cases, one of them was a member of idol group Tomorrow X Together, an 18 year old boy named Kang Taehyun._

_Witnesses said that he sacrificed himself to save a fellow member of the idol group; 20 year old Choi Soobin, by pushing the other out of the way of falling burning rubble. Choi Soobin however is reported to be in a medically induced coma state to proceed with recovery._

_Fellow bandmates 18 year old Huening Kamal Kai was able to escape with minor injuries while 21 year old Choi Yeonjun and 19 year old Choi Beomgyu both suffered much severe injuries._

_After a long hiatus to recollect and heal, the group finally announced their comeback in memory of their loss. They will be promoting their title track 'Engraved Memories' and their B-side 'Cold Mornings' which are crack coded by their fans MOAs to be songs tributed to late Kang Taehyun. BigHit Ent. announced-"_

Yeonjun shuts the television off with a huff "It's nearly been a year, I wished they would stop bringing it up each time we were mentioned…" he grumbles under his breath. Slumping down his chair with a groan, he cast his gaze over to Soobin who only stared at the food placed in front of him.

Chocolate chip cookies

"You gotta admit….it's...going to take some time to adjust…" Beomgyu mumbles, dancing as four never felt right then, it certainly doesn't feel any better now. Soobin hums and pushes away the treats, breathing out a shaky breath. 

Each night he goes to sleep, he sees Taehyun smiling while holding a plate of those treats, he sees Taehyun's loving gaze that felt so real to him as he hugs Soobin tightly and the way he could almost taste those cute lips when they kissed. 

But Soobin also sees Taehyun crying, trapped underneath the rubble, begging Soobin to help him and he couldn't-didn't move a muscle to save him.

And on some nights, they are much worse, other nights, they are a little tamer. But the cycle never changes, he has his sweet moment with Taehyun and will later watch him die while he couldn't do anything about it. 

And for months, it is all he sees each time he closes his eyes.

With therapy, he learned to deal with it, minimize the side effects of the trauma and loss with a few coping mechanisms. Stitch himself back up, but how beautiful can a torn doll be even if the stitches managed to keep it from completely falling apart.

"I was in love with him" he had managed to confess after some time, the other boys were not surprised or shocked. Soobin's special fondness towards Taehyun was pretty darn obvious, a part of his heart reserved just for the younger. "He was there, the entire time, we….were baking...it was….amazing.."

The dream he had when he was in a coma, Soobin can somehow remember every second of it ever so vividly, every touch, word and kiss. A memory that burned in his mind, a last farewell gift from the boy himself. 

It makes Soobin wonder sometimes, is that a dream or a nightmare?

A dream because of the sweet moments they share and how Taehyun accepts his love. 

A nightmare because it serves as a reminder that Taehyun is gone and none of it is real.

Soobin took the longest to heal, not just from the scars and burns on his body. But also the wound that was left in his heart and the scar that will permanently be on his mind. 

One day, he might learn to move on and live his life without hanging onto his loss, but that day is not today. 

"Okay everyone. Ready? lets go!" 

He picks up this mask he craftily made in his recovery time and wears it as the spotlight shines on him. A mask to portray a strong leader who is continuing to live for his dongseng. The weak coward beneath it who is clinging to his last bit of sanity is kept away in the shadow. 

"Dul set! Anyeonghaseyeo! Tomorrow X Together ibnida!!"

Soobin dances and sings with perfection as he always had, so perfect that nobody realized that broken boy under the perfection. 

"Now for our final song for this Comeback Show, a song our dearest leader wrote! It's called 'The Bittersweetness You Bring', Soobin hyung worked hard on this song so we hope MOAs love it too!"

Soobin feels his breath hitch as his fingers hover over the mic, his voice belting out a soft ballad melody. The four of them stood together with 5 mic stands in front of them, the mic between Soobin and Hueningkai left empty, a white ribbon tied around it.

_"It's okay baby cuz I know, your happiness is mine as much as mine is yours._  
_Moments with you, sweet or bitter,_  
_moments with you, I'll forever treasure"_

Soobin gasps out his last line of the song, the silent tears that trailed down his face glisten under the white spotlight. He cast his head down to the side, eyeing the empty spot, and for just a moment, he saw the white silhouette.

Soft brown hair, big doe eyes clad in all white with the most angelic smile on his face. His delicate hands that Soobin clearly remembers wrapped in his own gripped the mic, lips hovering to sing the ending line with Beomgyu.

_"Loving each moment, is a thing for 'forever'_  
_Even when the sun sets and I'm here no more_  
_These bittersweet moments, take them with you,_  
_a gift lasting forevermore"_

He keeps his eyes on Soobin, the sweet smile carved permanently on his face. And Soobin knows, then he'll let it go one day, someday in the distant future, and when the cold winter is over and the spring cherry blossoms start to bloom.

They'll meet again, and when that moment comes, Soobin could love and hold Taehyun till time ceases to exist.

**Author's Note:**

> you may ask WHAT WAS THE REASON??!?!
> 
> Frankly I have no idea, I just need fluff & Angst in one fic with my Fav pair sksksksk


End file.
